ARTIST STATEMENT
My self-portraits, explore the cycle of anxiety by tapping into memory to generate surreal environments. Anxiety typically starts with a trigger, which can be either real or imagined danger, and leads to altered thoughts and even physical symptoms. Usually, there is an eventual sense of relief. But when anxious feelings linger, the anticipation of a new trigger can begin a cycle of anxiety that is hard to break. My work focuses on my relationship with anxiety during a period of deep, persistent tension which resulted from being sexually harassed by a professor at my university.
The key to seamlessly blending the real with the imagined in my work is my utilization of computer graphics and 3D technologies. Artists working in the fields of animation, games, and films are expected to have in-depth knowledge of 3D software in addition to traditional art mediums and concepts. However, traditional artists are not expected to, and rarely make use of, computer imaging. My work spans the boundaries between new and old media, employing digital technology to inform the paintings I create with oil on canvas. I depict post-trauma emotions by manipulating the surreal and realistic qualities of environments through 3D software. Creatively employing these technologies within conventional modes of painting presents an opportunity for conventional artists to push their visual interpretations of the world.
09/13/17, 36x36", Oil on Canvas
Self-portrait made with 3D computer software such as Maya, Substance Painter, and Renderman. The three paintings are a series that represent different parts of the cycle of anxiety: Triggers, Anxiety, and Relief.
The painting above represents a moment that triggered my anxiety.
01/28/18, 36x36", Oil on Canvas
This is the second painting of the series, representing the resulting anxiety, specifically anxiety attacks, that follow trauma.
11/09/19, 36x36", Oil on Canvas
This is the third painting of the series, representing the relief and healing.
Remnants, 30x40", Oil on Canvas
Pile-Up, 24x24", Oil on Canvas
Reference for this painting was made with 3D computer software such as Maya, Substance Painter, ZBrush, and Renderman.
Images from Wayne J. Stark Gallery Exhibition. Show was up from September 8th - September 20th, 2020.
